Tech Fail

As technology becomes more and more involved in every activity in our lives, I’m beginning to think that one’s usefulness as a human has a direct correlation to the ability to understand and employ this technology. Perhaps this isn’t an epiphany, but it’s certainly something I’m becoming more aware of as I encounter electronics I don’t fully understand.

I was always the kid who my parents needed to do complicated things like fix the printer, set up bluetooth on their phones or fix the clock on the VCR (you know, when people still had VCRs) after we lost power. I was also the one who knew where every wire had to go so that we could run the cable box into the DVR, into the box/switch thing that also had various video game consoles attached to it, into the TV, then out into the surround sound speakers, which were positioned perfectly to optimize the audio and video experience.

Yesterday I couldn’t figure out my digital camera – and it’s from like 2005. It was snowing like crazy, and I wanted to take pictures, but the camera kept focusing on and illuminating the snowflakes inches in front it rather than the snow-covered streets and tree limbs in the distance. I know the camera has settings for different types of environments, but I couldn’t find them. And it was cold and snowy, so I didn’t have much patience. I wound up with like 8 pictures of dark, blurry streets behind 43 mini white glowing orbs.

Similar things have happened to me before, and it makes me quite uncomfortable. I am supposed to know how all electronics work and when and how to access those stupid one-use features when that one-use opportunity arises. You know how Eskimos used to sometimes sail their elderly off on a chunk of ice when when they were no longer able to contribute to society? I feel one step closer to being a useless elderly Eskimo now. And based on this weather, I’m sure there’s some free-floating ice not too far away.

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