The Usual Rule

When I worked at a restaurant, there were about 30-40 patrons I would consider “regulars.” Only 4-5 of them had a “usual” order. Usuals are interesting. When does an incidental order become a usual order? After 20 times in a row? After 100 times in a year? What’s the rule? Ironically, the more unusual the order is, the better it will be remembered, and the quicker it will be established as one’s “usual.”

Fortunately for you folks who are depressed because you feel you don’t have the will power and dedication to have a restaurant staff learn your usual, I think there’s a very simple cheat you can employ.

Pick a restaurant. Any restaurant. Ok, no, not Applebees, for the love of God, you masochistic freak. Any other restaurant. Go in, sit down and wait for your server. Then say, “I’d like the usual please.” Your server – let’s call him Jacques – will look confused. He’ll say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what your usual is.” Then you tell him.

Go back within 2-3 days. Order your usual again. If it’s Jacques, there’s a 50% chance he remembers it. If not, he’ll definitely get it next time. If it’s someone new, when you get that raised eyebrow look, say, “Oh, sorry, I thought Jacques would have told you.” Then order. This server – let’s call her Penelope – not only has the same first step as Jacques, but when she next sees him, she’ll be like, “Jacques, yo, like, some dude tried to order his ‘usual’ and said you were supposed to tell me.” They’ll laugh and mock you, but they’ll remember your usual. And chances are, they’ll tell the other servers – Gary, Ramon, Cynthia, Xing Lu, et al – the story and to be on the lookout.

And there you have it. Your 2-4 step process to having an established “usual.” You’re welcome.

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