Advanced Straw Theory

In this period of economic hardship, I would like to bestow a small bit of wisdom upon those in the food service industry:

There are different size straws. I don’t mean height; I’m talking diameter. I know that’s not new knowledge, but please take a minute to consider which is ideal for your business. You see, regardless of what size straw you provide (aside from abnormally wide or narrow straws), people take the same length sip. Sip volume is not based on thirst, but rather on time. Everyone has their standard sip length – mine is about 1.5 seconds – and will utilize it almost all the time.

What does this mean to you? Excellent question. No, really, good thinking. Really.

What it means is if your place provides free refills on drinks, use the narrow straws. People’s sips will be just as long as their sips with wide straws, but they will ingest less drink per sip. This makes their drink last longer and causes you to provide fewer refills. Not only does this save you money on the actual drinks, but if you have a wait staff, they will waste less time getting 8 year old Timmy his 17th Dr. Pepper.

Conversely, if you do not provide free refills, utilize the wide straw. Those people will suck down that drink faster than [insert any infamous sex scandal joke here] and you’ll double or triple their drink tabs.

Think about it, people. Think. Please.

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